my unibrow

I noticed yesterday morning right before leaving the house that I really need to pluck my eyebrows. I am wayyyyyyy past due. And for some reason unknown to me, I didn’t do it last night. But AFTER I left the house today that was all I could think about. So I did what I swore I wouldn’t do and called to make an appointment to have them done. Unfortunately, she can’t fit me in til Friday morning. And all I can think about is how my eyebrows look really bad. I am not looking in the mirror, but I can see them anyway. I am offending myself.

When I go to pluck eyebrows, I sit on the sink like I tell my stepson not to do. I lock the door though, so I don’t get caught doing what I told someone else not to do. Anyway, I sit there and pluck my eyebrows as best as a blind person can. I have tried with my glasses on, but they get in the way. I have tried with my contacts in, but I feel like I am cross eyed. I end up doing it without either. Heaven help me, this has to be dangerous.

Talk about dangerous. My blow dryer has been dying a slow death. The end of the cord where it plugs into the wall is messing up. So when it isn’t in a certain position it doesn’t work. So I will be drying my hair and when I move the dryer to the left of my head, it shuts off. But it isn’t consistent. So I can’t actually tell which way to move it. The last couple of mornings I just move my head and leave the dryer where it is at. Takes talent. I try to figure out how to fix it because I am woman, hear me roar. When I put my hands on the cord end, it is over heating. I just keep angling the cord different til it turns back on. I keep waiting to get zapped.

And I am just lazy. I am a lazy woman. I don’t like to wear makeup. I don’t want to mess with dresses. I don’t like to wear heels because they hurt. I occasionally wear jewelry, but mainly stick to the basics I love. What else is there?

I was reading Pink Piddy Paws and thinking that maybe I should invest in The Real Sex Kittens Handbook, but I am just a book addict. I would just buy the book and read it. I wouldn’t actually do any of it. Probably. I am pretty sure. That is how I run.

I lost my makeup bag over a month ago and just last week I made hubby run out and buy me mascara because I couldn’t find any makeup to wear out on a date with him. He did really well too! He called me from Walgreens (i know) and said, “There is black, blackest black, and darkest black.” I said, “Honey just pick one because I don’t really care. They are all black to me.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t have any cheek stuff and I used leftover eye stuff. Although, it looked brand new. And then I threw on some old black eyeliner. I couldn’t find my eyebrow brush either, which is the one thing I used daily. Thank goodness it was dark in the restaurant. I don’t think anyone noticed. And more importantly he didn’t notice. LOL

I swear that this year I am going to start buying heels of some sort. Since I have realized that I can’t change what I wear. Should I say, I won’t change? I like my khakis. I like my long sleeved henleys. I like my Sketcher slip on tennis shoes. I pretty much wear the same thing, but in different colors.

And I think I am learning to be sexy and flirtatious just by laughing at myself. wow that sounded like a stupid comment I have always been so worried about making myself look like a fool. This year, I will look like a fool and be damn proud of it. I recently had a run in with the paparazzi and did at least five really awesome vogue poses. My mother knitted me a new sweater, so I put it on and modeled so hubby could take a picture. Then wanted to faint when I saw how bad I looked. But it is about being happy with who you are, right?

isn’t it???????? hello??????????????

just kidding.

wow, i love to ramble. i forgot what I was talking about.